Anyone who has ever read even the smallest bit about birth order knows what to expect from the first born. Here are some highlights though:
- Use to being the center of attention.
- Belief that you must be better than others.
- Must be the person in control.
- Must be right.
- Always aims to please.
I've taken quite a few personality tests over the years. Isn't it curious that before I ever filled in the first bubble on one of them, the rest of the world already had me figured out. So you can put whatever label you want on it--I could be an ENFP according to Myers-Briggs type indicator, or I could be a Chlor-San if we're going off the four temperaments--I'm still a first born child.
The fact that something as simple as birth order can accurately assess my personality is very frustrating. Doesn't it speak volumes on how easily we are molded by our environment? I hate that. I want to believe that I impact change on my environment, and not that my environment dictates to me the person I will be.
My environment brought loads of change growing up. My parents divorced when I was 10, and both remarried within a year. I moved houses 3 times over the next 3 years. Then another divorce, and marriage followed. A added stepsisters, and lost stepsisters. Things were continually shifting around in my younger years.
So there was change. I eventually figured out that change was inevitable; that it would happen whether I wanted it or not. There are some things you have no control over, and they will affect you.
The good news is that not all change is external. Some change is self-initiated. My way of balancing things out is that for every change that happens in my life that I can't control, I create a positive new change on my own. This is my philosophy, and it has worked for me so far. Maybe it all comes back to birth order, and this is just my way of feeling like I'm in control, but it's necessary. Your environment will shape you to a certain degree. You don't have a choice in the matter. But you can change your environment; transform it into the place you want to have influence over you. Big or small, instigate some good change in your life!
Right now I'm full of change. Here are some of the new things in my life:
The fact that something as simple as birth order can accurately assess my personality is very frustrating. Doesn't it speak volumes on how easily we are molded by our environment? I hate that. I want to believe that I impact change on my environment, and not that my environment dictates to me the person I will be.
My environment brought loads of change growing up. My parents divorced when I was 10, and both remarried within a year. I moved houses 3 times over the next 3 years. Then another divorce, and marriage followed. A added stepsisters, and lost stepsisters. Things were continually shifting around in my younger years.
So there was change. I eventually figured out that change was inevitable; that it would happen whether I wanted it or not. There are some things you have no control over, and they will affect you.
The good news is that not all change is external. Some change is self-initiated. My way of balancing things out is that for every change that happens in my life that I can't control, I create a positive new change on my own. This is my philosophy, and it has worked for me so far. Maybe it all comes back to birth order, and this is just my way of feeling like I'm in control, but it's necessary. Your environment will shape you to a certain degree. You don't have a choice in the matter. But you can change your environment; transform it into the place you want to have influence over you. Big or small, instigate some good change in your life!
Right now I'm full of change. Here are some of the new things in my life:
- New church. Church of the Highlands is officially my home church.
- New city. Birmingham isn't new to me, but it is a change from living 600 miles away in Orlando. I'm going to be staying here for a long time now that I'm back.
- A girlfriend, Stephanie. And with this change comes a new family with whom to hang out. She's quite the amazing girlfriend too.
- New friends. I'm making new friends through church and through Stephanie. I've met some amazing new people. Michael, Brad, Justin...you guys are awesome.
- New career life. This one isn't really a choice. I just graduated college, and so now I must work...ha. I am taking control by starting my own company though. Exciting!
Hope you guys will initiate some positive change in your own lives! Let me know how it works out.
You'll find I don't give too much credence to personality profiles or environment/behavior studies. Don't get me wrong, they may have you nailed down. But it's hardly a carte blanche rule. First of all, my sister is the first born of my family and doesn't fit any of the characteristics you listed. Never did. Second, for better or for worse, I'd like to think I myself am living proof that environment doesn't have to dictate behavior. By your rule, I should be a fundamentalist, pure-Conservative Christian with a girlfriend and a mediocre job, who listens strictly to either CCM or Country music; but again for better or worse, the only word in that entire sentence that actually describes anything about me is "Christian" (any maybe "and").
ReplyDeleteI do think environment dicates behavior to a degree, but as you yourself pointed out, it's up to us to shape our environment. As adults, we have a lot more control over that than say, five-year-olds. Point is, we all hear voices on every side of ourselves, and it's up to us to choose which voices we give weight to, and which we do not. In other words, even if we WERE totally controlled by our environment, our environment encapsulates all conceivable possiblities. It's up to you how you *let* your envrionment shape you.
A perfect example: you and online gaming (read: Gears or Halo). You don't play as much anymore because you know how things get under your skin. It's not like you were a slave to the fact I have 2 360s sitting right in your immediate vicinity. And even if you hadn't chosen to stop playing as much, the ability to simply not let it get under your skin is just as much in your grasp as going with the flow. Saying that environment dictates behavior is just another form of accepting a level of conformity... and well, you know me.